Ireland Versus England: 557 And Counting

I’ll tell ya something now that’ll shake you up, Pat. If you took up rugby instead of playin the oul soccer and the GAA, you’d be up there on 557 points with myself and Johnny.

Ah, but Ronan…

No but Ronan about it, Pat! You’d be our equal, and you’d play agin England tomorrow to go top.

I loved playing in goal. Jackson was my hero. There’s no goalies in the rugby.

When did you ever hear of a goalie scoring 557 points, Pat? Tell me that, and if you did and if you do, I’ll eat my hat. Pure rubbish playing in goals, an anyway there’s no goals in rugby. It’s tries, conversions and penalties.

I saved two penalties once. Not at the same time. Two in the same game. We were up against…

I’m not hearing ya, Pat. Listen to me now, and listen good. Nothing ever came of been a goalie. Sweet fuck all. Wouldn’t ya like to be in the same bracket as the two of us?

Well, no actually. I wouldn’t. Soccer was my game and…

You’re a woeful gombeen, y’are. You’ll go down in history tomorrow if you score a few points. No matter if we win or lose. No matter if you’re shite for 75 minutes and you pop one over. History, I’m telling ya.

You were fair good yourself. Did you dream?

I was, but nah. I’m not in same class as you. You could’ve been the man. You were taken over by that Jackson lad. Shur, all he ever done was stop the team from been relegated every year, and three times he couldn’t even do that.

He played for England once.

Did he now? England! Shur, that’s not so much of a big deal, now is it? See what France done to them last week? The fans were wanting to leave early, but the stewards made them watch to the end.

Jacko was class, he was. He died last year.

Class, was he? Well, he’s not class right now. England are here tomorrow and they’ll be in that dressing room and they’re piss poor, they are. If you were to be running out in the green, you’d have them shaking with the trembles.

557 you say? That’s fair scoring. How many games would ye have played to notch up 557?

Don’t matter one bit, Pat. ‘Tis the headline in tomorrow’s paper I’d be keen to see. “de Búrca secures Grand Slam. All records broke.” The Cork Examiner will do a full page just on you and the record. They’ll give man of the match to one of the other lads, and they’ll praise the team to high heaven, but you get a page to yourself. Did Jackson ever get that? Goalies don’t matter. D’ya want another half pint of Cassilero?

Ah, go on so. I’ll play.

Wouldn’t doubt ya, Pat. You’ll play better with a double.

Ronan, ya eejit. Cassilero comes in a glass and there’s no such thing as a double.

There is today, Pat. I’m putting my shirt on you. Now, this has to be said so, I’ll say it twice. Don’t let me down. Just don’t let me down.

Will ya have something yerself?

No, I’ll be wanting a clear head. I want to see the look on Johnny’s face when you pass him out. The fecker’s been grinning at me all week. You just go out there and show me what ya can do. I’ll be commentating for some second-rate French radio crowd. Gotta keep a clear head.

Was the Grand Slam ever won in Dublin before, Ronan?

Nearly, a few times. Nearly. Tomorrow’s the day.

Grá Mo Chroí

I’ll give my love pressed bamboo leaves. I’d have included roses if V-Day were in summer. I know that pressed bamboo doesn’t quite cut the mustard, yet she understands my ways. It’s as good as an offer to help with the hoovering.

Note: This article appeared on my other blog in 2021, but because WordPress want me to pay big bucks because my photo uploads have exceeded 5000, I’m simply copying it here. I love a bit of Plan B, thinking outside the box.

13th February 2021

Now that it’s copied (below) I’m thinking shur I might as well keep the creativity flowing, so I’ve added updates for Valentine’s Day 2023.

It’s an annual event, you know that. But what I’m revealing here now is that I’m inclined to buy gardening accessories for the special day. I’ve been saving up my Euros since Christmas to get a humble selection of six items that I know will be very much appreciated. Six things, wrapped with love until tomorrow, in just the faintest hope that Marion might say:

“Ah shur, you’d probably make more use outta them than me.”

I’m following a very interesting Instagram account. It’s called Gaeilgethingz, put together by múinteoir Jason, so I reached out to him. Chuir me DM chuige.

This week, an seachtain seo, he’s got lots of white hearts and Irish words. I know I’ll win the heart of my loved one (again) by learning these words (by heart ❤️) and using some of them at the right moment. For example…

I have a bosca seacláidí and I’d happily give it all just for one smoochy póg.

You get the idea! Try it out!

Join with me now in the Great Brownie Point Hunt and what better way to start than…

A h-Aon: Winning Marion’s Heart (Again)

Spear & Jackson are the bees knees of secateurs. Here we have a his and her’s combination. Which is which? ‘Tis very straightforward… whichever one she prefers is hers, and I’ll get the other one ceann eile.

A Dó

It’s been many years since I enjoyed pressing flowers bláthanna, and although there’s nothing I’d like better right now, I’ll be adding this to my tokens of love for my Head Gardener. It’s Number 2 in the charts. I’ve started by including pressed bamboo leaves within. I’d have included roses if V-Day were in summer. I know that pressed bamboo doesn’t quite cut the mustard, yet she understands me.  It’s as good as an offer to help with hoovering.

A Trí

I just know she’s going to love this. I do not need to explain what it is. And because the box is also V-Day Red Dearg, we both win. I get double points, Marion gets a quality red box. I’ll be looking forward to baskets of fragrant trailing sweet peas in May. A scented posy for my love.

Back to Gaeilgethingz again…

Many thanks for permission to use. ©Gaeilgethingz / Jason
Is tú grá mo chroí, Marion.
Tar liom go Tír na n-Óg
Ar chúl an tí.

A Ceathar

She only has to give a once-off subtle hint about what she’d like. My ears cluasa are pricked and I never forget. This year, I was very surprised to hear from her very beautiful lips that black potato growbags are all the rage. Here they are, a stór. You just tell me when you’d like the first harvest, and I’ll do the rest. I’ll also be happy to cook up colcannon, the traditional Irish recipe you love.

A Cúig

Marion likes to know the overnight temperature in the glasshouse. It’s the first thing she asks every morning, particularly after hard frost. We did have a thermometer, but there’s nothing quite like getting a second one. This is an upgrade, as it shows multiple sets of information. The old one will likely be expelled outside, replaced by a younger model after years of faithful service.

A Sé

I’ve saved the best until last, but I may need to explain it. In fact, I may need to explain it to my Head Gardener also. You see, this is a surprise item that she did not suggest, subtly or otherwise. I thought it up all by myself. It’s a seed-sucker! Some seeds are so tiny that it’s impossible to handle them. This picks up one such seed and puts it where I want she wants it.

Just One More…

I’m going the extra step… The thought crossed my mind to dance a surprise Jerusalema, but I’d have ended up on my backside.

Powerwashing a year of grime from the concrete last week allowed me to add some graffiti at ground level. Knowing that Valentine’s Day was approaching, I doodled awhile before washing the evidence away. Gone but not forgotten.

Sin a bhfuil uaimse don seachtain seo. I’ll be back again next week with another Six-on-Saturday. Thank you for reading. Have a good week. Stay safe. Slán go fóill.

My thanks to Jason / Gaeilgethingz for permission to use copyrighted images. Click the link and give him a follow.

Click / tap the bicture below to view Jason’s Instagram.

Never fear! I’ll have more Valentine’s Day fun in 2024.


Foot Nóta: This was originally posted on my GrowWriteRepeat blog, and important updates have been completed today (Valentine’s Day)

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