Friday Fiction: Waterford Whispers News Obituary

Scene: Local Man and three accomplices are planning to destabilise Waterford Whispers News.

Right, ye know the plan.

Sure boss. I’ll hack the website. Tom will seduce the head honcho and turn him. Mary, what’s your bit?

I’m going in with a petrol bomb and a sword.

What’s the sword for? Peter asked.

All in good time, said Local Man. Synchronise watches. Seven fifty-four on my mark… Mark.

Do we have a plan B?

No need, Peter. If it don’t work, I’ll pop a success message on the website. Everyone believes everything on there. By five in the morning WWN will be no more. The rebranding will be finished. I’ve a bottle of whisky to speed things up.

You haven’t told us what it will be called?

WWN… Wise Wexford Nobbers. There will be jobs for Local Women.

Peter thought for a moment.

Any jobs for the men?

He thought again, only for a moment. Ah, feck. I’m the kamikaze hero, amn’t I? Do I get my own WWN obituary?

Local Man, in a loaded satirical tone, informed the team that he was fed up of being maligned. From here on in, he said, WWN will be fully sexist. Men will be portrayed as slightly inferior.

Published by Páraig

Changing my mind, one thought at at a time. You can too. Garden, bike and writing can be key. Ukan2.

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