Wasting Away

Do you know anything about wasting, Monica?

You’re on to the right wan. I’m a wasting guru. How come you want to know?

Tis only the wedding in July and I got me a few dresses but I need to fit in ta dem, and yer wan in the shop says to me to start wasting about ten days before the day.

Ten? Shur, Fidelma, if you do ten wasting days you’d waste away to nothing. I’d be thinkin, by the cut of ya, six would be plenty and even at that five is really the max.

So is it just like starving myself? 

Not at all. Shur, you’ll need to be loaded up with energy to burn for the dancing and the late disco. Nah, just running and into the sauna three times a day. No water at all at all. You’ll want to be fairly dehydrated to get into dem dresses. Eat away but stick to fish.

Grand entirely. I’ll make up for it with a bit of beef on the big day. The salmon might be a bit of a waste. 

Published by Páraig

Changing my mind, one thought at at a time. You can too. Garden, bike and writing can be key. Ukan2.

One thought on “Wasting Away

  1. Did you mean ‘waisting? Best get bigger and realistically sized clothes, cos otherwise you won’t be wearing them again. It smacks of ‘fasting’ before Easter during lent, which I also don’t advocate, unless of course you are running out of food, and then it makes sense to call it fasting so you get to heaven faster!

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