The Scene: Half-time words between John Coleman and Kylian Mbappe as Ireland held France scoreless.
Kylian jogged off the field faster than he had intended. He caught up with Coleman at the entrance to the tunnel and they exchanged words.
Just a word, Colie. Before ye have a chance to gather yerselves for the second half.
Certainment, mon ami Kylian. What’s up?
Just something I was thinking. I can’t figure out why I haven’t scored a few.
Me too. You’re a bit off the pace.
I can’t put my finger on it. But the thing is, I’d hate for one of my Frenchie mates to grab a goal and me scoring blanks.
Wouldn’t worry on that score, mon ami, but you’ll need to up your game. That first half was pure easy for me.
But, that’s what I can’t understand. Je ne comprends pas. I play for PSG and you’re at Everton. I should have a hat trick by now.
Maybe you’ll grab a second half hat trick?
No, I think not. You’re snuffing me out. I’m lost out there. What’s happening?
Easy, my man. Very easy to answer that.
So?
Nope, not answering it. Must get in there for a wee sit down. See ya in a while. Au revoir, my PSG friend.

Final score: Ireland (almost) 1 France 1. Scorer: not Kylian Mbappe.